To get more ‘steamy sex,’ hairy Indians told to start manscaping
Filed under: India
Topics covered : Boners & Boobs, Silly Natives
When it comes to body hair, all the good genes went to East Asia. Thanks to some ancestral path that seems to point back to the Middle East, South Asians inherited hirsuteness. Traditionally, women have managed their body hair with waxing while — as in most cultures — their men were allowed to nurture jungle patches on their chests, balls and ass cracks.
That may be changing. In an effort to help Indian men get laid, the Times of India published “Tips for Steamy Sex.” Clearly, the unnamed author considers the average Indian man to be doughy, stanky and covered with thick black hair (which, I guess, isn’t wrong). I’ve highlighted the good bits; don’t miss the part where men are urged to experiment with thongs.
The light matters
There’s a reason why photographers say ‘You look beautiful when the light is right’. The wrong light can make a to-die-for six-pack look positively ghastly, so make sure you use it well. The power-saver white neon bulbs are great. Really. They help conserve energy and we highly respect your ‘Go Green’ attitude. But sadly, they don’t do much to flatter that naked look. For once, switch to gentler yellow lights. Putting them up under lampshades will soften their glow and the flattering light will turn on the heat on your so-so physique…Body language
When you are gearing up for some action, the last thing you want is a spineless partner crawling around with a disinterested, fallen look on his/ her face. Stand straight, throw back your shoulders and walk like you mean business. Nothing is as strong a turn-on as confidence. Also, the slouched look only accentuates your flat tyres. The correct posture can go a long way to camouflage the series of fat faux pas that are sometimes inevitable. So do yourself a favour and compensate the lack of physical finesse with a dash of attitude.Aroma therapy
Research claims that a man’s sweat is the most potent turn-on for a woman. While one wouldn’t want to discount that learning, such studies do not exactly hold true in the bedroom. A sweaty stinking you can never be a turn on, no matter what the chemicals say. The Diors and Diesels can give you a hand, but it’s no hard and fast rule. Just make sure you have a shower before you try to get intimate with your partner. A man who smells good, feels good!Boxers & bras
Ask the marketing guys, and they’ll tell you how crucial packaging is. Point being, do NOT take the easy way out. Make your innerwear work. This is one department where you can have the maximum fun. Get those jock straps out and experiment with cuts and colours. If you are experimental, thongs aren’t that bad an idea (provided you can carry them off). If not, there are boxers — Simpsons, Batman, Popeye, you name it. Knowing what exactly your girl likes helps a great deal. Women have it a lot easier. Knowing the sheer variety of lace and nets out there, there’s enough for every occasion…Groom for it
A clean groomed look is far more presentable vis-à-vis the hairy disaster men often come with. Yes, some women like their men with hair, but that cannot justify the Amazon on your body. Get bullish in the grooming department and put that trimmer to good use.
Time to open a men-only waxing studio in Mumbai?
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